“If I Had Legs I’d Kick You” follows Linda, a mother navigating life as everything around her begins to collapse.
A Soundscape of Chaos and Humor
Even in its opening two minutes, “If I Had Legs I’d Kick You” offers a gripping introduction to its central character. The film uses tremendous sound design to its advantage, blending different audio layers in and out of focus to mirror Linda’s frazzled state. The atmosphere alone pulls the audience into her shoes – and nearly into her head.
From nearly every level, “If I Had Legs I’d Kick You” is hilarious, though not in the ways you’d expect. The humor feels effortless. The title alone sparks laughter. Beyond that, Linda has a growing hole in her life… literally.
The film succeeds more often than not because it spins her challenges into humor, much like real life can at times. It’s an endless spiral of bad breaks grounded in reality. That doesn’t mean it never steps outside the box, though – for brief moments of pure comedic bliss.
These occasional detours fit well inside this story… for the most part. At times, they detract. But for better or worse, “If I Had Legs I’d Kick You” stays true to itself, again and again.
Rose Byrne Delivers a Career-Best Performance
Rose Byrne (Linda) delivers one of her most commanding performances. Facing a constant stream of trials and tribulations, she fully dives into the role – shifting seamlessly from exhaustion to rage to despair and back again.
Through her mannerisms and delivery, Byrne owns the screen. You can feel her presence in every shot, with the emotional weight pressing down on her as much as on the audience.
A$AP Rocky (James) and Conan O’Brien (the therapist) also appear in supporting roles. Audiences may not be used to seeing the pair on the big screen, but both succeed.
“If I Had Legs I’d Kick You” is ultimately a story about motherhood – and the tolls and stresses that come with it. While Linda’s experiences may be heightened, they never diminish the deep isolation and loneliness she feels.
This story centers on parenting a child alone. By continually piling on Linda’s struggles, the film keeps raising the stakes. The lingering sense of discomfort and not feeling good enough only intensifies as the 113-minute runtime unfolds.
A Bold and Unyielding Vision
Outside of James, every man in “If I Had Legs I’d Kick You” is insensitive, egotistical and rude. Normally, this might feel like overkill. Here, it works. By highlighting the lack of care Linda receives from those around her, the film makes her journey as a mother all the more impactful.
Men have their own experience in raising a child. Women have their own experience in birthing and raising one. The film lets audience members of all kinds step into those shoes, reflecting the all-consuming role of parenthood – no matter how rewarding it is in the end.
Notably, “If I Had Legs I’d Kick You” makes the bold choice not to put a face to many of the key figures in Linda’s life. Her husband and daughter remain mostly unseen, reinforcing her growing sense of isolation.
All of this stems from writer-director Mary Bronstein’s vision. She brings authenticity to every facet of the story. Through both the filmmaking and the screenplay, this is an unyielding, deeply human movie.
The title itself is genius – a perfect metaphor for Linda’s exhaustion and simmering frustration.
Even so, the film loses some of its clarity by the final act. So many ideas collide that the simplicity of its themes becomes tangled. The last 30 minutes also complicate Linda’s character, making her harder to root for despite everything she’s endured.
Yet the film’s core idea lands powerfully in the closing moments, with an ending that lingers long after the credits roll.
“If I Had Legs I’d Kick You” is a raw, funny and unflinching story about motherhood, anchored by a career-best performance from Byrne. It doesn’t aim to comfort – in fact, quite the opposite. And that’s exactly what makes it so excellent.
Rating: 4.5 out of 5
