“Balls Up” follows marketing executives Brad and Elijah, who pitch a bold full-coverage condom sponsorship with the World Cup. After a global scandal, they must outrun furious fans, criminals and officials to salvage their careers and make it home alive.
A Bold (and Bizarre) Start
What a premise. “Balls Up” is very upfront… with its sausage, meaning audiences will know within the first few moments alone whether they’re in or out. My guess is that a lot of televisions will be turned off very quickly. Even though many viewers will be pushed away, the film does establish early comedy surprisingly well. It’s “stupid humor” in the vein of “Dumb and Dumber” or “Step Brothers,” with the central characters rambling back and forth about nonsense and genitalia.
Sports fans, specifically, will likely be able to find some enjoyment out of the absurd scenario near the end of the opening act.
From Weird to Generic
Unfortunately — or maybe fortunately — “Balls Up” isn’t actually as bizarre as it initially seems. Director Peter Farrelly quickly abandons the quirky idea in favor of a generic story.
Moving into various subplots, the film loses all sense of direction it had. Paul Wernick and Rhett Reese’s script is all over the place. At the start, it’s weird and witty. In the middle, it’s uninspired. By the end, “Balls Up” is diminished of any memorability. This is mainly because the story loses focus, bouncing from idea to idea just because they’re “funny.” Especially with an overlong 104-minute runtime, this leaves the movie feeling like there’s no end in sight.
The tonal shifts don’t work in the film’s favor, either. One second, Brad and Elijah are shoving drug-stuffed condoms in their mouths. The next, they’re fleeing from the cartel. Then, they’re falling off the edge of a waterfall. Finally, after it all, “Balls Up” pauses for an emotional moment between the two leads. Because of this, it’s a consistently jarring experience.
Scattered Comedy, Minimal Payoff
Coinciding with this is the average action. “Balls Up” follows a simple formula: chase, catch, repeat. There are spurts of gunfire and violence, but no real stakes. With every new obstacle that comes the characters’ way, it ultimately feels like a rehashing of previous events.
The end result is a movie that’s full of different ideas — not answers. The scenes don’t flow together, instead forming a compilation rather than a complete picture.
Mark Wahlberg (Brad) and Paul Walter Hauser (Elijah) do make up for some of the shortcomings. Wahlberg is over the top on every level, portraying the confident and slick persona well. Hauser plays a more introverted character, yet slides in subtle comedy. Their contrasting personalities generate an abundance of the film’s comedy.
Also in “Balls Up” is Sacha Baron Cohen (Pavio Curto). Cohen brings a hilarious presence to the film when he is in it, effortlessly going toe-to-toe with Wahlberg and Hauser in exchanges of dialogue.
There isn’t a lot to “Balls Up.” It’s mindless entertainment, and for the most part, the film knows this. For this reason, there is at least some enjoyment to be had. The raunchy jokes are plentiful, and while they are hit or miss, many are funny enough.
“Balls Up” starts with potential before quickly falling into an endless array of clichés. Wahlberg and Hauser go all in on the bizarre, but the story fails to do the same.
Rating: 2 out of 5
