“I Hate Myself and Want to Die” follows Jacob, a freshly dumped, unrealized artist who comes home to the desert to quietly end his life, but nothing goes according to plan.
With an in-your-face title like “I Hate Myself and Want to Die,” it’s clear that this is tackling heavy themes of depression and suicide. Despite the dark nature of the topics, writer-director J. Davis lightens them with comedy. For many viewers, this will result in an uncomfortable viewing experience. For those who have felt similarly to Jacob at some point in their lives, however, it may just be the perfect catharsis.
While Jacob is at the center of this story, the people surrounding him are equally important. When suffering from self-doubt, individuals often don’t see the complete picture. Sometimes, others need to show them just how much they care to make a difference. That’s where Hayley and Russell come in. This leads to an abundance of car rides, awkward conversations and… maybe even some joy.
Amid everything, it’s the performances that make the film feel authentic. Mike Castle (Jacob) accurately portrays someone who is clearly charismatic but masks his personality with sadness. He portrays a cynical personality, bringing “doom and gloom” to the screen while accurately depicting feelings like frustration and impatience. Still, there are spurts of happiness in his performance that make Jacob likable. Playing a high-schooler who thinks her world is falling apart, Ali Gallo (Hayley) has a more unhinged delivery. Her “mess” and Jacob’s “mess” occur at different stages of life, but are also very similar. The two bounce off each other to deliver both humorous jokes and thoughtful life messages. Andre Hyland (Russell) brings even more goofiness, with a laidback, stoner persona. Meredith Salenger (Sue), Leonora Pitts (Christina) and Wyatt Hinz (Tyler) also appear.
Director of photography Evan Papageorgiou keeps the camera in close proximity to faces. When exploring intimate emotions, you need intimate reactions from characters. On top of the performances themselves, the close-up shots and handheld camerawork emphasize the feelings behind it all.
“I Hate Myself and Want to Die” has a short and sweet 84-minute length. Even so, Davis stuffs the film full of comedy, drama and even thrills. He constantly shifts between the different tones, going from amusing misfortunes to heart-to-heart discussions with ease. Taking place in a single day, it has a similar approach to “Olmo” in its growth story, while containing the humor of “Dazed and Confused.” By the end, it functions as a sentimental note to the audience: everything is going to be OK.
There are pieces missing from the puzzle at times, however. Aside from Jacob, other characters come and go throughout the course of the narrative. Some appear once and are never seen again. Others are present throughout much of the runtime, only to disappear by the conclusion. This diminishes the communal aspect of the movie, as his “support team” doesn’t always feel the most supportive.
“I Hate Myself and Want to Die” broaches a dark subject in a lighthearted way. It advocates for mental health by telling a story about what it means to die — and to live.
Rating: 3.5 out of 5
